Living is a war. You fight to avoid losing your loved ones. For your dreams, for your future and even to protect your past. In this war, people forget their values, and there will be people who want to make you forget them too so that they can win. But I have made a decision, I will not change my color in this war, I will still be what I am. As a wasteful, reckless, selfish, and self-indulgent person, I will try to enjoy this war in the temporary time given to me. I probably won't be able to find peace without doing good, no matter how selfish I try to be, if the other party is dissatisfied while trying to get what I want, I will be unhappy too. But when it is their turn to be selfish, they will do their best to diminish me. When they upset me, I may be surprised and saddened again and again, as if I had never known this evil of human beings. My loves may change, I may not be able to keep my promises, I may curse and betray those who betray me, and the things I defend most may be strangers to me than a stranger. But my love for sunsets never ends, my passion for the sea, my need for intimate relationships, and my sense of belonging do not change. Everything changes, but my desire to return home does not change. And I realized that I am also a selfish person, but I cannot betray the only thing I call home. Neither for the streets where I grew up, nor for those who shared my pain, nor for those who grew up with me, nor for the houses where I grew up, my love for them will never end. There will come a day when my love for them will surpass and silence me. My desire to return home will never go away. Maybe I will question where the house is every time, but as we said, home can be a feeling.
I heard that the sense of belonging was discussed a lot during this period, so my mask was gradually falling away . My fellows started to realize me since I could not find enough strength to hide my bleeding. My wounds were bleeding clearly every time. I was laughingly denying it while making people watch this wound that I couldn't stop bleeding. I'm the happiest. Could you please shut up? I'm asking, can't we talk about being a little bit of everywhere and being completely nowhere? My dear friends, won't we say both death farewells and moving farewells again? Now I don't hesitate to say goodbye. I'm sorry, pure and delicate souls, to whom I bid farewell whenever I thought of them. I'm not in me. I wanted to love, but I was not made to love. I didn't become evil, I was made evil. Time became my prisoner , highways became my home. I said goodbye to everyone , I didn't solve the p...
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